"He's wound up like a thousand day clock..."
"...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition..."
(Of his 1986 leadership) "From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I'll do everything to crucify him."
"He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague."
"But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It's like 'Spot the eyebrows'."
"I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot..."
"He has more hide than a team of elephants."
"I do not want to hear any mealymouthed talk from the Member for Benelong."
"The principle saboteur, the man with the cheap fistful of dollars."
"Come in sucker."
During Great Debate '96: "You're so rude!"
"Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!"
"You boxhead you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten."
He always turns around when I drop one on him. He can't psychologically handle it.
"There he sits, all dressed up like a Tony Barlow doll but with no place to go.."
I was implying that the Honorable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock - alive, but looking dead."
"Yesterday, on a personal matter against me, we had old dozy over there, the Honourable Member for Wentworth."
"I have a psychological hold over Hewson... He's like a stone statue in the cemetery."
"I'm not going to be fairy flossed away as my opposite number, John Hewson, is prepared to be fairy flossed away by some spaced out, vacous ad agency. "
"I'd put him in the same class as the rest of them: mediocrity. "
"This is the sort of little-boy, stamp your foot stuff which comes from a financial yuppie when you shoe him into parliament. "
"Hewson's only made the grade on paid advertisements. He's put me under no pressure at all. The only one who's put us under pressure on any issue is Peacock. He's an old cynic and he goes for the issues. Hewson's on television a lot but he hasn't put me under any pressure. "
"He, as Foreign Minister, was swanning around the United States of America with Shirley MacLaine or trying to crash one of Ted Kennedy's parties...and he was trying to play statesman...while he swanned around, and then he made a cowardly attack upon the former Prime Minister before slinking back into his cabinet."
"...if this gutless spiv, and I refer to him as a gutless spiv..."
"...the Leader of the Opposition's inane stupidities."
"He could not rise above his own opportunism or his incapacity to lead."
"I suppose tha the Honourable Gentleman's hair, like his intellect, will recede into th darkness."
"He represents nothing and nobody."
"You've been in the dye pot again, Andrew."
"The Leader of the Opposition is more to be pitied than despised, the poor old thing." "The Liberal Party ought to put him down like a faithful dog because he is of no use to it and of no use to the nation."
"We're not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos."
"It is the first time the Honourable Gentleman has got out from under the sunlamp."
"Bib and Bub. The Leader of the Opposition and his Deputy."
"...a fop such as the present Leader of the Opposition."
Keating: "I withdraw it. I wouldn't hurt his feelings for quids. The fact is that the farmer..."
Keating: "Of course I did. I wouldn't offend Old Rosie over there."
"I was nearly chloroformed by the performance of the Honorable Member for Mackellar. It nearly put me right out for the afternoon."
In conversation with Whitlam:
Whitlam: "That was a good speech. You should go back comrade, and get yourself an honours degree."
Keating: "What for ? Then I'd be like you."
"What we have as a leader of the National Party is a political carcass with a coat and tie on."
"It must get right up their nose, quaffing down the red wine at these fashionable eateries in Bent Street and Collins Street, with the Prime Minister calling them donkeys - but donkeys they are."